Mr Pleather

A friend's husband, a man known in e-circles as The Great Pretender, commented the other day that from my infrequent rantings one would think that the only students to people the school I currently teach at are feral, unintelligent, rude neanderthals. I would like to clarify that this is not the case. I have taught, and continue to teach some students who are truly amazing individuals - they challenge me, open my mind to new ideas and concepts, and teach me about the world and often, about myself. When they leave my classroom, I am better for the time we spent together.

So, in order to balance the proverbial scales I am compelled to send out a hearty salute to all those moron teachers out there. You know the type - earring still in one ear, none the wiser that that particular fashion went out in 1987, haircut from about the same vintage and pleather jacket purchased from some dodgy Vic Market stall. A man whose singular ambition in his career is to make less work for himself, and if nothing else, THAT he is succeeding at. Well, Mr Pleather has managed to slither his way up the slippery pole of educational advancement and is now Head of a major faculty - and true to his cause he is doing his darnedest to make sure that all teachers in his department are losing whatever passion they used to have for educating young minds. He doesn't hold meetings with his colleagues, his 'team' as he insists on calling them (only one tiny step away from 'comrades'), he holds lectures. Opinions from other teachers? Viewpoints from those who have greater experience and might I suggest greater intelligence? Don't be ridiculous. What could there be that Mr Pleather doesn't know? He sends out emails with the subject heading: "Please print and retain" (yes, I'm serious), letting everyone know that his word is only second to god's.

And then to a man who believes his word is equal to god's. Sorry, that's insulting - greater than god's. It is the ever-rising corner office chaser. To those who think individuals who chase those middle management positions and the office furniture that comes with it only exist in the corporate world - think again. Only in education, instead of views of the city skyline, you get a big window that looks out onto the back of some crappy 70s building and kids walking by, giving each other the latest on who sucked what Saturday night. One particular corner office chaser has literally screwed up every job, every minute task he has been given. Every program he has meant to run has been such a debacle the school has been forced to hand it over, broken and in pieces, to someone else to fix. The peak of his professionalism, in my humble opinion, came in an email to an entire Senior School with an attached timetable and the note: "If you notice that there are clashes for you or your students, please fix them among yourselves" - awe inspiring. Does he get sacked? No. Demoted? Ney. Lose the precious corner office? Neyt. Does he continue to sit with that smarmy little grin, ruddy cheeks and yellowing teeth in that corner office? He certainly does. Does he strut around the place in hideous neon shirts with clashing ties, also circa 1987? Nod, nod, nod. Like in every other industry, in education, shit often rises to the top.

Just as I suffer through the infantile little shits who can sit at the desks in my classroom, there are brilliant young people being subjected to the likes of Mr Pleather and the corner office chaser. So, are the scales even? Sure. We're all being screwed.