I am not actually writing my blog at this moment. You THINK that's what I'm doing, but the reality is, I am just avoiding writing reports. I've written a few, two classes worth to be precise, but I'm struggling. I am struggling with finding new and hopefully less offensive ways of expressing my professional view that "your child is a complete waste of space, taking up much needed oxygen from those with more than one operating brain cell", or "your money would be better spent on a trip to Europe than to fork out one more cent in an attempt to educate the moronic, self-absorbed human being you insisted inflicting on this good earth".
I've been hearing lots these days about the supposed harsh economic times we currently find ourselves in. Between that and swine-flu it's all I can do to keep myself driving headlong into the "Dans Plants" sign whose lack of required apostrophe taunts me every day on my drive to work. So, it would make sense that in these times of gloom and doom parents having enough faith in their children to plonk down an obscene amount of money in an effort to make them better educated global citizens should fill me with warmth and optimism, right? Wrong.
I know I should feel good about the fact that parents are willing to make financial sacrifices for the education of their children, but the fact remains I don't. I am frightfully scared of the fact that in these harsh economic times those who will continue to gain from the bounties of private school education are going to increasingly be the children of the rich - and if I have learnt one thing from my time in the wonders of what 'A Current Affair' likes to call 'one of Melbourne's elite private schools', it is that, in most cases, the children of the rich have no idea what it's like to not be rich. Most assume they are entitled to everything the world has to give. Hard work? That's for someone else. Dedication? No need. Striving despite initial failure? Mummy and Daddy said I would never fail and a school system that continues to pass me despite my lack of ability and effort, simply because my parents pay the fees reinforces that notion quite nicely, thank you very much.
Those students whose parents hold down two jobs and who work tirelessly to take full advantage of the offerings of a private school, will unfortunately be the ones to go. They will be the ones who end up in State School High languishing in overcrowded, under-resourced classrooms with teachers who should have been sacked years ago, but can't be because they haven't molested anyone yet. Meanwhile the princesses who laugh in your face when you suggest they come in over their holidays to make up for the worked they missed will remain, far more enthralled with the images of themselves in their Mac's PhotoBooth than they are with anything you may have to teach them.
And so, in these harsh economic times, I beg of you, if you are lucky enough to have some spare cash floating around and you are honest enough with yourself to recognise that thanks to your poor parenting your child is one of those wasting p precious educational space and oxygen, do the world and yourself a favour. Take that trip to Europe. And take along that poor partial scholarship student whose father is scrubbing toilets in an effort to give his kid a future. That child might be able to see beyond themselves and their iPhone and take in the wonders the wide world has to offer. They might even appreciate it.
